Cowboy Read online

  I walked up to the cheery red door contrasted against the natural color palette, and knocked as I had hundreds of times before. Once again I had the jangling feeling that I was both perfectly welcome and yet out of my element.

  Ryder’s father opened the door and greeted me with a wide grin as he waved me inside. He was on the phone and pointed to the den so I walked past him and he closed the door behind me, staying outside.

  I was bored so I casually looked through the books on his bookshelf to kill time. They were mostly about cattle husbandry and horse breeding, but there were a few photos of Ryder when he was younger. He was so adorable, I couldn’t quite help but wonder what our babies would look like.

  With a start, I realized I was fantasizing about having his children. Me of all people, standing here daydreaming about kids.

  I almost gave myself a shake, but Ryder’s dad opened the door and strode in. The two of us made polite small talk about life during the past few years, until he finally got to the point.

  “So Alex, I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked you here.”

  “I have to admit, yes Mr. Harris, I am curious,” I said, trying to maintain my disaffected composure.

  “Well, as you know we own a huge amount of land, it’s been in the family for generations but a lot of it goes unused. I am in the process of selling off half of it, Mrs. Harris and I are not getting any younger, and I can’t expect Ryder to care for the entire operation on his own. We would love to find somebody reliable to help him manage it, but that hasn’t happened yet. It’s getting harder to find good help, so we feel our hands are tied.”

  “Ok, where do I come in?” I asked, trying to unravel what he was saying.

  He looked directly at me as if sizing me up for something. I was beginning to feel nervous when he said, “I heard you were in finance, correct?”

  “I was, investment banking,” I replied

  “Excellent. I would like to hire you to go over the ranch’s books. Our accountant quit a few months ago, and I want to be sure everything is in order before we accept any offers.”

  “Well Mr. Harris, I’m not exactly in that kind of finance, I don’t know the first thing about bookkeeping. I think I’d be pretty useless actually.” I smiled, a little, disappointed at not being able to accept the job straight off.

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself Alex. You’ve always been such a smart girl, I’m sure you’d catch on. Let’s say you start bright and early Monday morning.”

  It wasn’t as though I had any other interesting offers, or any offers at all, so I had no other choice. I decided to accept his offer and see how it went.

  I also knew it would be boring and a waste of my schooling, but there was the chance I’d see Ryder and that might help me get over my embarrassing obsession.

  As I was saying goodbye to Mr. Harris, Ryder’s mother pulled up in her bright red Jeep YJ with the top down and a country song blasting out of the speakers. I had to laugh at that, Ryder’s mom hadn’t changed a bit.

  “Alex! Wow, so great to see you kiddo, you look amazing!” Mrs. Harris jumped out of the Jeep and gave me a tight hug.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Harris. You look amazing too!” I replied.

  “Oh please, call me Sophia; you were practically my daughter in law after all. Don’t tell me Henry made you call him Mr. Harris the entire time you were here, did he even offer you a refreshment?” she shot a good-natured glare at her husband. “I don’t mean to be rude Alex, but I’ve got a million things to do today, we’re having a small party tonight. It’s our thirtieth wedding anniversary, can you believe that?”

  “Oh, congratulations! And no problem Sophia, I understand. I’ll apparently be seeing you Monday morning anyhow.”

  “Fabulous! You said yes to the job. That’s really wonderful news Alex,” Sophia said. “Wait a minute, where are my manners? Why don’t you come over tonight? It’s an informal barbeque by the pool, nothing fancy, don’t bring anything, I’ve got absolutely everything covered. I know Ryder would love to have you here, he hates getting cornered to talk cattle with all our friends. Ryder’s earned quite the reputation as an excellent veterinarian around here.”

  Her motherly pride beamed on her face and I couldn’t understand why nobody had bothered to mention the fact that he was a veterinarian. Apparently, I couldn’t rely on my parents for information either.

  “Oh I don’t know,” I said, stalling as I envisioned seeing Ryder for the first time in the midst of a crowd of people. It might not be the best venue.

  “I insist, we’ll see you here at seven. Bring your parents along if they’d like.” Sophia kissed my cheek and breezed into the house, calling for Mr. Harris to unload the groceries.

  I started to get ready for the Harris party in the early afternoon. I was as nervous as my first date with Ryder, I almost felt like throwing up.

  I decided on a long bath instead, to take advantage of my parents being in town picking out a gift for me to take along. I couldn’t remember what the thirtieth anniversary was supposed to be, wood maybe? My mom was the expert at matters like this, so I left it in her capable hands.

  I slid down in the tub and let the hot water close over me. I let out a deep sigh and thought about tonight. Would Ryder even talk to me? Would he be obsessing about me as much as I had been about him?

  Of course I wasn’t naïve, I guessed I must have broken his heart all those years ago, but his grief and loss since then surely erased the harm that I had done. We’d both grown up so much, I couldn’t help but pray I had a chance with him.

  I felt the heat of the water soak my muscles and ease my tension. The moment I was relaxed, thoughts drifted to Ryder almost against my will. I thought about him working on the fence, the way his shirt had tightened across his chest when he stretched, how his jeans had gathered around the bulge in the front.

  It was strange, a compulsion and I couldn’t help myself. My hand slipped under the water and I slowly rubbed two fingers up and down my cleft until I found my clit. I circled around it, across it, and thought about seeing Ryder tonight.

  More than anything, I wanted to once again be able to walk into his arms whenever I had the need, to have the easy intimacy I’d once had, to see him watching me across a crowded room with lust in his eyes. I’d never felt that way with Andrew, and hadn’t realized how much I missed it until I got back to town. Now I wanted Ryder back, a man I could truly love with all my heart, the man I was meant to be with all along.

  I slipped my fingers back and forth a little faster, imagining myself sliding down the length of Ryder’s cock, enveloping it with my throbbing pussy, taking in the full girth and width of it.

  I started to move my hips and rocked my pussy against my fingers, thinking of Ryder’s fullness hitting me deep inside, the perfect angle every time. I started to breathe harder, water splashing against the sides of the tub as I began the long climb up to orgasm.

  I wanted Ryder’s hands on my body, his cock inside me, his fingers pinching my nipples as I came. I finally shuddered and bucked my hips against my fingers, frantically reaching for the moment where I’d peak, and descend down the other side.

  At last I found it, my entire body tensed. I breathed in sharply and let out a small whimper that echoed in the tiled bathroom. I held myself like that for a moment as my nerve endings were on fire up and down my body. I cried out Ryder’s name and collapsed into the cooling water.

  Now I could go to the party and leave my tension in the tub.

  Alex

  I stumbled on my way up the front walk, almost dropping the gift. Mom had picked out matching beautiful hand blown wine goblets, diamond was apparently the proper gift for the thirtieth, but glass would have to do. I brushed myself off nervously and kept walking. The party was already well underway, and I could hear the sounds of guests and music coming from the inner courtyard. I rang the bell and waited with a dry mouth and sweaty palms until Mr. Harris opened the front door.

  “Mr. Harris,�
� I said with a smile. I was grateful it was him, I might have dropped the glasses had it been Ryder.

  “Please, you must call me Henry or I’ll be in big trouble,” he replied with a wink.

  He took my coat and led me to the pool area where I placed the gift on a table with many others. I paused as Henry walked away and looked around to see if I could spot Ryder right off. I immediately felt overdressed and slightly foolish for having gotten so dressed up. I had on a pair of expensive, ‘bling’ jeans as Mom called them, fancy cowboy boots and a flowing gauzy patterned shirt.

  I would fit in at a casual party in the city, but in this crowd I really should have chosen simple jeans and a white tee shirt to fit in.

  At least I’d left my hair loose and had used minimal makeup. That was a blessing.

  I didn’t see Ryder right away, so I picked up a glass of wine and started working through the crowd, looking for him without making it obvious that I was looking for him.

  After thirty minutes or so I’d caught up with many of the ranchers in the area and was surprisingly having a lovely time. In the middle of a conversation about hay crops with the Gordons from down the road, Sophia came out from the house and tapped her glass with a spoon to interrupt us.

  “Please, could I have your attention? I’m sorry to say that Ryder’s been held up at the Richardson’s. Their mare is having trouble foaling and he can’t get away. He wanted us to cut the cake and continue the party without him,” she announced.

  My disappointment felt like a brick in my stomach. I managed to somehow maintain my cool exterior, but inside I was crumbling.

  Would I ever manage to cross his path again? Was this a deliberate ploy to avoid seeing me? I was devastated but continued to chat with the guests and enjoy myself as much as I could. At least talking with the mostly older folks from town, I felt reconnected to the community and kept my mind off Ryder and what his absence could mean.

  A little after eleven, I left the party and walked across the gravel driveway to my car. I felt light headed but okay to drive, I didn’t think I’d drunk that much wine but I couldn’t really remember.

  I fumbled in my handbag for my keys, found them after a few moments and then promptly dropped them. As I was feeling around on the dark ground under my car a voice asked, “Do you think you’re okay to drive?”

  I recognized it immediately, froze for a moment, found my keys, and stood up, doing my best to remain composed. “Oh. Ryder. Hi,” I managed to croak out of my suddenly desert-dry throat.

  “Hey Alex,” he said with a frown on his handsome face. “I know it’s been a while, but I can still tell when you’ve had too much to drink. I don’t think you should be driving home tonight.”

  “Don’t be silly, I’m fine,” I laughed a little too loudly. Was it nerves or alcohol? If only I could remember exactly how much wine I’d had, I might be able to tell.

  “Let me drive you home Alex, I’ll get dad to help me bring your car over in the morning, okay?” he insisted, touching my arm and leaving my flesh burning as if on fire when he jerked his hand away. He seemed as nervous as I did.

  “Don’t worry about me Ryder, I’ll be fine,” I replied and turned to open the car door, promptly dropping my keys again. Ryder swept down and grabbed them off the ground and shoved them in his pocket.

  “I’m not letting you drive like this Alex. Wait here, I’ll go get my truck,” he told me with a stern voice, and turned to walk away.

  My face burned red hot as I watched him cross the driveway to his truck. I was humiliated. All my fantasies of seeing him again felt so foolish now. He was so cold and serious, how could I have ever imagined that he’d be willing to pick up where we’d left off?

  The worst of it was that he was even more devastatingly handsome up close. My body had an instant attraction, and even though I was angry and embarrassed, I could still feel my blood pulsing in my core. My jeans felt a little too tight at the moment as I adjusted myself; my clit felt swollen and hyper sensitive, as if betraying my anger. I wanted nothing more than to drag him down to the ground right then and there and climb on top of him, but I couldn’t help but feel vulnerable and destroyed by his distant demeanor.

  I didn’t have to wait long; Ryder pulled up next to me and said, “Hop in,” through the open passenger window. I had no choice, he had my keys, and I didn't’ have it in me to argue. I felt defeated, deflated by the reality compared to how I’d built this moment up in my mind.

  As I climbed up into the truck I noticed a, “Red Valley Animal Hospital,” decal on the door. He really had become a vet and I felt strangely proud of what he’d accomplished.

  The drive home was heavy with uncomfortable silence. I attempted to make small talk a couple times but was met with one word, monotone replies. He seemed really pissed off at me and I couldn’t quite figure out why. I knew I’d left him, but that was so long ago the least he could do was treat me like an old high school friend.

  I fought the urge to scream at him in frustration, demand answers, pull at my hair until he let me in again and treated me like a human being, not an enemy.

  The full weight of my choice eight years ago hit me then, and I could feel the heat of tears welling up behind my lids. I kept my eyes closed, kept my head resting on the truck window and remained silent for the rest of the ride home.

  When we pulled up in front of my family’s house, Ryder opened his door and stepped out. I mustered enough balance to hop down before he got to my side and ducked past him into the house. He said goodnight as he got back into his truck, but I didn’t respond.

  I was hurt and humiliated and on the verge of tears. I didn’t trust myself to say anything without looking like an emotional wreck.

  And worst of all, I was filled with anger at myself for what I’d done so long ago. I’d destroyed the one thing that had brought me the most happiness, I had essentially set off a bomb in the middle of the one relationship that really mattered, and I realized now that there was no going back.

  By the time I got upstairs to my room, I also realized that Ryder had been right. I was really tipsy, even getting undressed was difficult to navigate, and I almost had to wake up my parents to help me get my boots off.

  Finally falling back onto the pillows, I let myself cry for a moment, and then drifted into a fitful sleep.

  Ryder

  I knew I was going to be late for my parents’ party well before it even started. I got caught up with an extremely difficult Arabian mare at the Richardson’s place and there was no way to get out of it. They valued their animals as their own family, so I did whatever it took to get the foal out alive and well. I’d been in the barn for hours with Mr. Richardson when Mrs. Richardson came out with two mugs of hot coffee.

  “Your mother called, Dr. Harris,” she said as she handed me my steaming cup. “She wants you to call her, she’s tried your phone but it’s going directly to voicemail.”

  “Oh shoot, I forgot to turn it on,” I replied and fished around in my pocket for it. Fourteen missed calls. I’d have to give her a shout and let her know what was going on, to not hold everyone up on account of me and this antsy mare.

  “Ryder Harris, you know we want you here, but your work is important so you do what you have to do,” Mom said when I called. She was pleasantly tipsy, that’s the only time she called me by my full name. “Alex is here by the way, I just thought you’d like to know. Maybe you can give that mare a boot in the butt and knock the baby out of her.” I heard her wine glass clink as she started to get distracted.

  “Ok Mom,” I laughed, “I’ll see what I can do.” Knowing Alex was at their place right now made my heart go into overdrive and I felt slightly queasy. I wanted to get this horse finished so I could go have a chance to talk to Alex, but nature, it seemed, had other plans.

  At almost exactly ten at night, a healthy little filly was finally born. Seeing her wobbly legs as she got up and nuzzled her momma made the hours well worth it for me. That’s why I’d chosen to go
into veterinary college, moments like this.

  I packed up my things, swung by my place to scrub off and change my clothes, and rushed to the ranch to see if I could still catch Alex.

  It was just after eleven by the time I made it, a long shot for sure, but worth the chance. I parked my truck away from the house and was walking across the driveway when I saw Alex exit the front door.

  She had obviously been drinking but still managed to walk with a grace and poise that caught my breath in my chest. I hadn’t expected to find myself melting so quickly the moment I saw her this close and this vulnerable. I hadn’t expected to find myself falling again so fast.

  I’d have to guard myself carefully if I wanted to maintain my sanity around Alex. With a start, I realized that she was pulling out car keys and I couldn’t let her drive home if she was drunk.

  I intercepted her, managed to grab the keys and piss her off all in about two minutes. I struggled against overwhelming caveman desire to lift her onto the hood of her car and fuck her, take her, claim her as mine again.

  The decent side of me, the side that had received more than a few butt whoopings from my momma for rude manners over the years, knew this wouldn’t do. I wanted our first time again to be something more than a drunk fuck after a party, I wanted her fully aware of that first moment I slid back into her, that first moment she was mine again.

  Once we were on the ride home I regretted my decision to not take her on the hood back at the ranch. She was smiling and running her hands through her hair, flirting with me as she tried to get me to loosen up. It was all I could do to keep my eyes on the road and not pull the truck over and devour her right there.

  I thought about how sweet her pussy would taste right now, I remembered that alcohol had always made her soaking wet and wicked, ready to try anything. My cock hardened painfully inside my tight Wranglers and I shifted uncomfortably, concentrating on the act of driving.